A Gardener Looks at the Heavy Snowfall

Exotic Albums Titles of the Year, Pt 17



Earth - Bees Made Honey in the Lion's Skull

Incredibly Strange Music


R.I.P Lux Interior

Cramps frontman eventually died due to his dicky heart.

Himalayan Social Club



I just thought about forming this club of ex-hippie trail survivors, who could meet & re-live some of our past experiences.

We could give all our food & money away, dont wash & starve in foreign countries, leave everything to tomorrow & drift in clouds of smoke & psychedelic vinyl.

All Paths Lead Nowhere



I am on that hilarious album title kick again. The title above in a sampler double album from Galactic Zoo Dossier #5.

Although it is hardly LOL material, it does make you deepthink?


I am not limiting myself to whole album titles as I just came across Nurse With Wound's 'Scrag' & it contains a track entitled: Dream of a butterfly inside the skull of a horse'........................thinkingdeeper thoughts.

I Have a Dream

I have been in so much pain since Wednesday, I thought I would list some excuses just like Boyd’s reasons for not playing for Scotland:

• I believe I have sciatica & terrible pains down my leg & back
  

• I am suffering from Post traumatic stress since gulf war 1

• Mr X crunched me between his rugged shoulders & the gym wall last Wednesday

• I was arrested twice in the same year at gunpoint in Greece & Afghanistan

• I had to bribe my way into & then out of India & Nepal

• My library was blown apart during Gulf War 1
  

• I am at least a yard off the pace

• My birth certificate states I am 56 & only fit for bowls or curling or a wii

• Librarians are supposed to have a quiet life

On the other hand, I would not miss the game for anything & even although nobody except ‘the cat’ ever passes to me, a big thanks to everyone for your support & keeping me going despite the age factor & the aches & pains

After I issued this disclaimer, I broke all records & if I die tomorrow, I will have achieved legendary status, not as a librarian alas, but for scoring the fastest hat-trick as I scored 3 goals in 3 minutes (all from 3 yards, but that is the sign of a quality striker!) in the college 5-a-side game.

Le Vent Du Nord

I had managed to see Kate Rusby at Celtic Connections & I also caught the above band from Quebec. Much as I enjoyed both events, as I left the latter at the ABC Sauchiehall St @ 10.20 p.m. on a Friday night, you see all that is so wrong with our country or maybe that is just because I am growing old & grumpy & because I do not imbibe alcohol.

The contrast could not have been greater. One minute I was watching a marvellous band from Quebec (I believe the Minister for Culture was present) & then outside, there were so many drunken neds (male & female) roaming about being obnoxious.

Ripping My Flesh

I tried to cheer the weasels up over this harsh winter by telling them how good Kate Rusby was @ Celtic Connections & how much I was enjoying Till Bronner’s brazilian album ‘Rio’.

I even tried to get a reaction from them by stating that Tontos Expanding Head Band’s ‘Zero Time’ was available for the first time on cd & that I had finally got a copy of John Peel’s ‘Archive Things’ that I used to have on a dodgy tape.

I could not get a word in edgeways as they were yapping on & on about some rare Tuli Kupferberg album from the 60s, the David Hykes Harmonic Choir, Rosko’s album of music with text by Kalil Gibran, Steven Jesse Bernstein’s ‘Prison, Ghadelia Tzartes & Bill Wells.

Next winter I am going to hide their Ipods & Iphones.

I Dig A Pony


Whenever I try to explain to people what usually happens to me during the day, I get a sense & I can see from their face & body language that they do not believe one word.

Take an example of the other day when I had to go out to Stirling. It was a frozen, frosty morning, but I just sprayed my windscreans with de-icer & passed the de-icer across the hedge to my daughter-in -law, who sprayed hers turned the engine & sped off.

I could not get in the car as all the doors had frozen up. Eventually by having a brainwave that made me spray the key & the lock I got in!


Eventually I got the engine started, but I still could not open the driver's door, even although by now, I could not close the passenger door.


Brainwave 2: by tieing the seatbelt around the passenger door, I could keep it shut a little bit, except going round corners & where the ice was especially treacherous.

I was running late by now, so I had no option but take this risky route up the backroads to Stirling with the door flying open..


All that bedouin training was worthwhile

19th Nervous Breakdown



Sometimes you just have to Stop! & look around.

R.I.P. John Martyn



He will be signing 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow' in heaven

How the Memory Keeper's Daughter met the Time Traveller's Wife Salmon Fishing in the Yemen?



Yes, you have guessed it: at the Reading Group.

I better sign off here & get on with it.

Reading Rabbi Burns in Katmandu



I quickly realised why this street, Butcher Street was so named, as I , suffering from the initial stages of Hep B, witnessed that scene from 'Apocalypse Now' when the cow gets whacked.

As all my internal organs were misfiring, this was indeed a tremendous sight to behold.

Schoolkids Oz


I do not know if it is another conspiracy, but if you can find any archives of International Times, Friendz or Oz, I for one would be very surprised.

I thought it would be easy to trawl the net & find those issues of the above that sent me on my journey of discovery.

Anti-War Protest Song



Trying to survive in a cold country, where the occupying forces have pushed us into a narrow Gaza strip of land in the north.


In my mind, I see things as the complete opposite. Do we not have an occupying parcel of rogues running & mismanaging their country ( & ours at the moment, unfortunately!)

Nice to see Richard Thompson's album above has a saltire centre stage!

Favourite Album Titles of the Year


If you like me only eats Veggy haggis with yer neeps & tatties to celebrate Burns's legacy, here is a smart title to tickle yer tackle:


Aidan Moffat & Best Ofs - How to Get to Heaven from Scotland.

Top that anyone. I was already thinking I was in heaven!

Don't Take the Brown Acid


I must admit I love conspiracy theories e.g. 9/11, the brown acid at Woodstock & the fact that you cannot buy any pipecleaners these days.


Perhaps the Israelis have found some novel way of using pipecleaners to kill innocent women & children & destroy their homes?

Believe me the fact that even the BBC were not allowed into Gaza speaks volumes. Looking at the destruction on tv confirms all your suspiciions.

I get my Middle East news from Al Jazeera, you get the truth.

The King of Infinite Space

Next door neighbour bought me tickets for Jackie Leven, who was playing as part of the Celtic Festival. Amazing that the best football team in Scotland has a whole festival named after them!

The support acts were good too, especially Doghouse Roses, who reminded me of Pentangle.

Jackie as always, was different, with his female singer & the understated accompaniment of Michael Cosgrove on keyboards.

Scotland’s best kept secret just keeps on going producing excellent music & thankfully, touring all the time.

Favourite Album Titles of the Year, Vol 3, pt 5

Van Deferens Organization – Sweat your cheeses, but not in my salad.

Freddie Hubbard, R.I.P.