SIGGIS
Entertainment at Siggis was provided by some exciting, local musicians, who despite the presense of their Rolex timepieces, played well into the night. As I wandered back from these late-night eating places, I bought some 'brownies' for supper. These were pseudo-American, chocolate cakes and they tasted delicious, especially by now as my taste buds were popping. It was during these late-night walks alone, that I encountered the loosely-termed, Afghan policemen, wrapped in well-worn and torn, greatcoats. l noticed that they were whistling to each other, eventually my curiosity got the better of me and I found out, that this was the normal procedure to ensure that each guard was either still alive or still awake. In their arms, these policemen carried huge, blunderbus rifles, with delightfully-carved wooden stocks, inlaid with mother-of-pearl. I never saw anyone fire or even attempt to fire one of these guns, which is perhaps just as well, as they really belonged in a museum.
Soon I was to gain respect for these Afghan supercops. On my last day in Kabul I was to come face to face with some of the higher and more efficient echelons of the Afghan police force. It is a day I will never forget. I had decided to spend a quiet, lazy day, hanging around the hotel restaurant. Some of us set up a card school and I was joined by three members of the bus party, who hailed from the romantically-named centre of the universe; Clacton. lt was an intense game and I recall that I was winning, when suddenly the door was pushed open in an amateur Starsky and Hutch routine and we were all held at gunpoint by Afghanis in western clothes claiming to be detectives. l thought it was a joke and they were merely acting out some scene from a Hollywood, forties detective movie. However their sincerity and the fact that these were real guns with real bullets, soon-dismissed any apparent doubts we had about the reality of it all. Our response was tragic.
AIl we could do in our state of nervous anxiety and blind panic was to stutter out an explanation apologising for our ignorance of Islamic law and codes of practice and the customs of our friendly, tolerant host country we were crawling so low we were scrapping the floor.
Evidently someone in the hotel, probably the manager, had sensed the possibility of a large payoff and telephoned the police. Our group-mind was thinking along the lines of stiff jail sentences in some dark dungeon or even of firing squads. Fortunately, we behaved very humbly (easy under the circumstances and continued to apologise profusely.
I did not have the temerity to suggest that we should bribe these detectives, (besides they all seemed too efficient and appeared dedicated beyond reproach), but I did mention the fact that a small forfeit would be in order, to repay these kind policemen for their time and trouble and for showing us the error of our ways.
We admitted that we were naughty, irreligious and sacrilegious and vowed never to do anything as criminal as play cards again in public. This did the trick and they reluctantly accepted some cash and left, and on the way out they warned us of the certain penalty that would await us, if we were caught gambling again. Actually they need not have bothered warning us, as we were so utterly terrified. This seemed a fitting climax to our stay in Afghanistan so we moved on.
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